Archive for the ‘Hate Hate Hate’ Category

Nicki Mischnoz

February 9, 2010

Rapper/Civil Rights Activist (I kid) Nicki Minaj usually has enough ass and cameltoe to make me forget about the atrociousness of her outfits but this time I just can’t get pass that NOSE!

You can’t tell me that you don’t get the urge to do the Humpty Hump after looking at these pics…

Peeped @ Concrete Loop

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Ethnic Barbie and Ken

January 26, 2010

Wanna know how to make a new cocktail called Hot Mess a.k.a SMH?

Add the following ingredients in a sippy cup:
-1 part Ginuwine’s hairstyle from the 90s
-1 part Al B. Sure’s unibrow
-1 part robotic japenese sex doll (special Queens, NY edition)

Close the lid and shake vigorously and…BAM! You get a MTV Sweet 16 party for one of the members of B5 P.Diddy’s son.

You know what this little fool got for his birthday? A $360,000 Maybach. You know what iThug got for his birthday? A bottle of Seagram’s champagne and the “middle bread” from a Big Mac! Yeah I know Seagram’s doesn’t make champagne! But when you mix together rubbing alcohol and 7-Up you can call it whatever the hell you want!

I wish I could get inside the back of that little bastard’s Maybach just to do this:

Rihanna Wax Statue

December 8, 2009



Oh, wait a minute…that’s really her? Word?? You sure that’s not a mannequin? Hmmm, I’m not convinced. Would I still hit? Yes. Yes indeed.

Damn Damn DAMN!

December 7, 2009

Somehow I completely forgot about the racist ass snowfall that was scheduled to touchdown in Chicago overnight.  As you can imagine I was a bit perturbed when I opened my front door this morning. And by “a bit perturbed” of course I mean “angrier than a conservative Catholic male from Texas at a gay communist pro-choice party without his gun.”

So I wake up and get ready for work, already mad as hell that I have to come to this punk ass job, and as soon as I step outside my door…BAM!!! Chicago winter shits on me immediately. There’s an inch of snow on the ground, the streets are slushy, the sidewalks are messed up and I missed 3 buses that all passed by me at the same time. And of course the bus stop is 3 blocks away! You would think that folk in  Chicago would be used to these conditions but as soon as a single snowflake falls from the sky the traffic and bus/train schedules go to shit. And it stays shitty even after it stops snowing and the roads are clear because the mere perception of snow apparently lowers the collective IQ of the city about 90 points. (more…)

Cheetarah Franklin

September 17, 2009

Aretha is back and sexier than ever!

Grrrowl

Grrrowl

But seriously, her dress looks like a big ass Magic Eye Puzzle. I stared closely at it for 2 minutes and I swear I saw the bassist from Earth Wind and Fire…

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You can call me "Scrumptious"

Spotted @ Dlisted

The Best Rapper Alive Is…Droopy?

September 11, 2009

Going forward I will only refer to Jay Z as Droopy. It may not rank high among his list of aliases but at least it’s better than Joe the Camel, right?

jay-z-clash-cover

I’m really gonna need magazine editors to start coming up with some new ideas when they put Jay Z on the cover. This guy is too grown for these mugshot photos! This cover would be cool if it was on The Source Magazine back in 1997.  What does a damn near 40-year-old multi-millionaire with the hottest chick in the game have to mean mug about? NOTHING! You mad cuz the interior of your Maybach doesn’t exactly match the cockpit of your private jet? Yeah, that pisses me off too.

I guess I have to add this cover to the “Not A Good Look” category.

Kanye and Common will keep him company:

kanyewestvibecover

common-yrb-cover

Madonna’s arms haunt my dreams

July 28, 2009

madonnarms

I know she works out 5 times a day 10 times a week but damn.  I’m not sure if this is a real person or an interpretation of a piece from the Body Worlds exhibits crafted in Madame Tussaud’s House of Wax. Yeah, I know, billions of women only dream to be in shape like Madonna when they’re 123 years old, yadda, yadda, yadda…nevertheless, those arms are gross. It’s like her skeleton is slowly digesting her muscles! On a positive note, her nasty looking arms succeed quite well in taking the focus off of her face. Perhaps it’s just a bad angle but she looks like Kim Cattrall (Sex in the City) with Michael Chiklis’ (The Shield) chin.

Hating makes me feel so good.

Source

Tat for Tit

June 22, 2009

I just came across a pic of this subpar rapper named Maino and 3 things came to mind:

1.) Dude needs to wear a bra, albeit he’s not as bad as Rick Ross
maino-2

2.) It looks like his chest hair was replaced with nappy feathers
maino-blu

3.) If I didn’t know any better I’d think Maino was the same dude that played Raheem in Juice and Darnell in GirlfriendsKhalil Kain

Suckaz 4 Love

May 21, 2009

What’s up with all these cats with these ridiculous tattoos of their chicks’ names and faces?!? That’s not gangsta!!

First there was Nick Cannon with the huge “Mariah” tattoo on his back…

mariah-tattoo

What part of the game is this?! I didn’t think Nick Cannon could lose any more cool points but then I realized that we’re talking about Nick Cannon. YOU A SUCKA! Mariah Carrey ain’t even that hot any more son! Lenny Kravitz obviously wasn’t impressed…

And just when I thought it couldn’t get any worser (I’ve actually heard that come out of someone’s mouth) I came across this pic of Jermaine Dupri’s new tattoo of Janet…

maine

Wtf?! Is there an animated movie out there that I don’t know about starring Janet Jackson as Mary Magadelene? And why is Jermaine covering his nipple? Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I want to see his hobbit man tits but when does a guy ever pose like that? I bet he’s wearing Ms. Jackson’s nipple ring from the Superbowl incident.

jermainetattoo2

I wonder if Stedman Graham still has that Oprah tattoo on his leg…

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Source: the.LIFE Files

Reason #933838 I Hate My Job

May 1, 2009

angrybabyhead

You know why I hate my job? Because F*CK THEM! That’s why!

The IT department sent me a bitch-made email THIS MORNING advising that I’ve been scheduled for a training TONIGHT at 6:30pm? 6:30 on a damn Friday?!? Do I look like a bitch to you? I get out of work at 5! You think I’m gonna stay here for an hour and a half for some wack ass training? I’M A BOSS!!! How about you put a bunch of anuses in a bag and use it to brew some tea so you can sip it in your imaginary world where I give a damn about your silly ass trainings!

You see what happens when iThug attempts to get a real job and get off the streets? They try to send him RIGHT BACK!