Archive for December, 2009

WTF?!?!?! Undercover Butt Sniffer??

December 23, 2009

Why??????????????????????????????

This is the most disturbing thing i’ve seen in a long time. This guy is smelling another dude’s butthole in a grocery store. I should not be able to formulate a sentence with such nonsensical content.  And you mean to tell me that the store clerk didn’t think something was suspicious that whole time he was getting sexually assaulted? Maybe he liked it.  I would’ve spotted that sick bastard easily with my peripherals and turned around and hit em with a 1-2 combo like BLOOP BLAOW!

I’ll never feel comfortable in a grocery store ever again…

Best Battle of the Year: Blitzen vs. Santa Clause

December 22, 2009

Coming soon on SMACK DVD – Holiday Edition

Blitzen a.k.a Lupe Fiasco

Santa a.k.a Krs-One

Seal & Heidi Klum Sex Tape??

December 15, 2009

Here’s an exclusive screenshot from the raunchy XXX video showing singer/songwriter Seal giving his supermodel wife a good ol’ fashioned “reach around

Rihanna Wax Statue

December 8, 2009



Oh, wait a minute…that’s really her? Word?? You sure that’s not a mannequin? Hmmm, I’m not convinced. Would I still hit? Yes. Yes indeed.

$1,000 Computer Speakers?!

December 7, 2009

I don’t care how good these Harmon Kardon GLA-55 speakers look on paper cuz I guarantee you that they aren’t a thousand dollars good. Do you know how much Grade-A weed I can buy with that kinda money? Do you know how much mediocre weed I could buy with that kinda money?!? What was the inspiration behind the design? Decapitated piranhas??

Verdict: WACK!

Spotted @ Gizmodo

Damn Damn DAMN!

December 7, 2009

Somehow I completely forgot about the racist ass snowfall that was scheduled to touchdown in Chicago overnight.  As you can imagine I was a bit perturbed when I opened my front door this morning. And by “a bit perturbed” of course I mean “angrier than a conservative Catholic male from Texas at a gay communist pro-choice party without his gun.”

So I wake up and get ready for work, already mad as hell that I have to come to this punk ass job, and as soon as I step outside my door…BAM!!! Chicago winter shits on me immediately. There’s an inch of snow on the ground, the streets are slushy, the sidewalks are messed up and I missed 3 buses that all passed by me at the same time. And of course the bus stop is 3 blocks away! You would think that folk in  Chicago would be used to these conditions but as soon as a single snowflake falls from the sky the traffic and bus/train schedules go to shit. And it stays shitty even after it stops snowing and the roads are clear because the mere perception of snow apparently lowers the collective IQ of the city about 90 points. (more…)