Archive for February, 2010

Wanda Sykes wants to bone Sade

February 23, 2010

That’s Sade’s speaking voice??

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Something about a deep female speaking voice with a British accent just doesn’t do it for me. She should stop talking and only sing. That would be totally sexy, right? You know what’s not sexy? Wanda Sykes in super lesbian crush mode . Watching this poorly written/improvised sketch made me strangely uncomfortable…

Moral of the Story: Sade can still get it

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When Animals Attack White People Pt. XVIII

February 18, 2010

Salad tossing pelicans? Now I’ve seen it all. I’m done with the internet.

Peeped @ D-Listed

My Favorite Things: Mariah Carey’s Funbags

February 15, 2010

On the reals I’m an ass man to the core, but I will NEVER forsake the greatness that is…Boobies. Take Mariah Carey, for example. She has no ass, she’s drunk, kinda crazy and she got a little plump after getting married (not to say that there’s anything wrong with that), but those breastsess are always immaculate aren’t they? Peep this picture of her performing at the Chicago Theater last weekend:

I don’t know why but it seems like Mariah’s boobs are out more often than the lights in project stairways (Marcy, Cabrini Green, Magnolia…pick one). Of course iThug isn’t one to complain.

Random: I just thought of a great pornstar name — Mariah Careolas! Clever, huh?!

With that in mind I’d like to send out some venom-laced HATE to that sucka ass punk, Nick Cannon. I bet he’s motorboating those sweater cows as we speak. Grrrrr!

Photos Spotted @ Chicago Tribune

Nicki Mischnoz

February 9, 2010

Rapper/Civil Rights Activist (I kid) Nicki Minaj usually has enough ass and cameltoe to make me forget about the atrociousness of her outfits but this time I just can’t get pass that NOSE!

You can’t tell me that you don’t get the urge to do the Humpty Hump after looking at these pics…

Peeped @ Concrete Loop

Grossest Picture of 2010 Thus Far

February 9, 2010

I spotted this over at Crunk + Disorderly

I don’t know the nature of this photo or when it was taken but it doesn’t matter does it? Fellas, if you ever need to pace yourself while having sexual relations, you should visualize this in your head. But don’t do it for too long or your genitals might retreat inside your body indefinitely. I don’t even know what to say about this pic. The super deluxe ashy ankles, dirty lime green Crocs, Tyrone Biggums lips and the yellow “Where the Wild Things Are” eyes are just too much. And why is Clay Aiken holding him in the air like he just carried his bride across the threshold?

Where the F*ck is Captain Planet?!

February 4, 2010

Why is Weatherbug blowing up my phone with severe weather condition alerts when it’s not supposed to snow or rain? Oh, word? These alerts aren’t for extreme weather? They’re for extreme pollution?! WTF?!

Apparently the air pollution in Chicago is so bad right now that an alert has gone out warning people not to stay outdoors for extended periods of time, especially if you already have respiratory problems. WOW. No wonder my damn cough won’t go away! Where the hell is this dude when you need him??

In addition to this garbage I read an article about how Chicago still doesn’t disinfect the waste water that it dumps in the river! Now you know why it always has that nasty greenish-brown color all the time. Of course we get our drinking water form Lake Michigan but this is still gross as hell. The city doesn’t actually want to take steps to clean this crap up (literally) because the resources that it would take to do so would create an even larger “carbon footprint”.

Riiiiiight….

Die Antwoord

February 4, 2010

What…the…damn…hell????

So this is what’s hot in South Africa? I don’t even know what to say. I wanna say that this is a joke but that doesn’t appear to be the case. Dude looks like a white Flavor Flav with Vanilla Ice’s old haircut. Speaking of hair, what’s up with that chick?! That’s a wig, right? Right?! Am I gettin played? Is this a viral marketing campaign for Sasha Baron-Cohen’s new movie?

If you think the first vid was weird check out “Enter the Ninja”:

If you like these cats, and I’m sure some people do, check out their website to hear the album (dropping in February):

And then check out this “secret” part of the website if you’re really in the mood to get creeped out:

{Bumps “Enter the Ninja” in the whip}