Season Premiere May 2, 2010..maybe.
Season Premiere May 2, 2010..maybe.
I already determined that Erykah Badu had a big booty when I saw her in concert last year but DAMN! Jay Electronica you are a lucky son of a bitch! This is the new video for her song “Window Seat”. I like the song but don’t really care about whatever message she’s trying to get across because I’m more intrigued by her strippin. Maybe if she wrote a profound message across her buttcheeks, and I’m sure she could fit a whole dissertation on there, I’d be more interested. It’s apparent that all of Erykah’s baby weight keeps going straight to her ass but I’ll be damned if I complain. Is it too late for a Smooth or King magazine cover??
Check out http://www.erykahbadu.com for more symbolism and unfortunately, less ass 😦
Update: Here’s the video that inspired Erykah Badu
It took me a second to figure out which one was “Kim”…
See this Bald Eagle sneaking up on this black bird? Does it remind you of anything? No? Well you need to wake up! This is the origin of slavery my friends. The black bird represents the Africans that were chillin on their continent until the American Bald Eagle a.k.a Whitey McIndianKiller, creeped up, snatched everybody and threw em in the bottom of a boat.
I’m sure that this little bird is stuck somewhere, cleaning a nest and feeding spoiled baby eagles, with his foot cut off, after his failed attempts for freedom. Give us free!
Here are my poorly thought out captions for the last photo:
Caption 1: “You forgot your boarding pass!” (a la Mike Lowry in Bad Boys)
Caption 2: “America, F*CK YEAH!”
Caption 3: The Fox network has a new show called “America’s Got Talons” (awful, I know)
When did Hilary Duff become a full-fledged woman?? She was definitely not on iThug’s radar until I saw this pic. By Hollywood standards she’s probably considered obese but I can assure you that she would be all good in the hood. I’m making a new movie that she can star in, it’s called “Hilary Stuffed“.
I recently came across a couple pictures of President Obama “pretending” to be a Jedi while participating in a fencing demonstration, and I suddenly had a sense of deja vu…
Ha! Around the time when he was inaugurated someone started selling Obama action figures. The resemblance is uncanny isn’t it? Same outfit and light saber! And I’m pretty sure he’s sparring with Dick Cheney in both of those pictures.
Originally spotted @ Gizmodo
Somehow the elegant font on this typed note softens the hilarious cruelty of the message.
Jennifer’s Body is either a wack alternative rock band or the name of an upcoming horror movie starring Megan Fox and her breasts. Luckily, it’s the latter. Anyone that has seen Transformers has probably noticed that Megan Fox isn’t a great actress. However if you happen to have a penis and aren’t gay you probably don’t give a damn.
Megan Fox has quickly pole-vaulted to the top of “iThug’s Finest Women Alive, Skeet Skeet Skeet, Giggity List.” Of course this list is much more prestigious than those compiled by People Magazine, FHM and Maxim. Other fine ass women on my list include Alicia Keys, Rihanna, Halle Berry, Oprah, Kim Kardashian, Nia Long, Roxy Reynolds, Salma Hayek and Esther Baxter. This is the current top 10 (in no particular order) but please note that this list is subject to change at any given moment without notice so don’t catch any feelings if your fantasy woman wasn’t mentioned. Honorable mentions include Kelly Ripa, Condoleeza Rice and various MySpace skanks.
What was I talking about? Oh yeah, the new Megan Fox movie. After viewing the trailer above several times in my room with the lights and my clothes off I can say that the movie looks like it could be somewhat entertaining…maybe. Hell, even if it sucks I can just focus on Megan’s sexiness. I don’t know how well this film is going to do at the box office but if erections were dollars this movie would certainly be the one to beat.
Whenever I finally have kids I’m gonna make sure that those little bastards don’t short me on Father’s Day. I don’t want an ugly tie, shirt or a mug! I’m not asking for a lot really. Just get me a bottle of Bombay Sapphire, make me a breakfast fit for a king and leave me the hell alone for the rest of the day. Is that too much to ask?
I’ll even send my kids in the right direction by telling them where to look for recipes. All they have to do is go to http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/ (I will eat damn near everything on this site) and pick something delicious like this peanut butter, banana, honey and bacon sandwich on potato bread, dipped in egg batter then fried in bacon fat, topped with butter and blueberry syrup. Mmmm, my heart stops beating just from looking at the picture.
Yes, I just copped an entire case of Starburst: FaveReds and no, I ain’t sellin these bad boys and yes, I have slightly lost my mind. I don’t know if this is a limited edition thing so I want to make sure that I’m set for a while. Not familiar with Fave Reds, are you? If so, your life has been a waste! Everyone knows that the red/purple/pink Starbursts are always the best of the bunch and the heads at the Mars corporation finally decided to do something about it.
Strawberry, Cherry, Watermelon AND Fruit Punch are the flavors that make up the Fave Reds. I’m pretty sure they’re each laced with a bit of crack to ensure customer loyalty as well. If this isn’t a hoodrat’s dream I don’t know what is. This might be the best combination since hot sauce and…anything! I wouldn’t be surprised if they used these as currency in a few small countries. Never again will I have to unenthusiastically eat the “aight” flavors before I get to the best ones in the pack. THIS is what the game’s been missing!