Damn Damn DAMN!

Somehow I completely forgot about the racist ass snowfall that was scheduled to touchdown in Chicago overnight.  As you can imagine I was a bit perturbed when I opened my front door this morning. And by “a bit perturbed” of course I mean “angrier than a conservative Catholic male from Texas at a gay communist pro-choice party without his gun.”

So I wake up and get ready for work, already mad as hell that I have to come to this punk ass job, and as soon as I step outside my door…BAM!!! Chicago winter shits on me immediately. There’s an inch of snow on the ground, the streets are slushy, the sidewalks are messed up and I missed 3 buses that all passed by me at the same time. And of course the bus stop is 3 blocks away! You would think that folk in  Chicago would be used to these conditions but as soon as a single snowflake falls from the sky the traffic and bus/train schedules go to shit. And it stays shitty even after it stops snowing and the roads are clear because the mere perception of snow apparently lowers the collective IQ of the city about 90 points.

So I finally catch a bus that I should’ve been on 7 minutes earlier but the son of a bitch was late and packed with sniffling little punk ass kids getting ready to underachieve at their poorly performing public schools. I kicked one of them in the back as they were getting off for a quick pick me up and surprisingly, I did feel a little better about myself. I finally got off the bus to get on the  ‘L’ train and guess what happened? The damn train passed me as soon as I got there! Hooray! But another one has to come soon since this is rush hour right? Right? RIGHT?! Well, if I was going in the opposite direction I could’ve hopped on any one of the 6 (SIX!) southbound trains that passed me while I was waiting on one northbound train. How the shit do 6 trains pass me going in the other direction in the time that it takes for one train to come on my side of the platform? What part of the game is that? Oh, I’ll tell you, the racist part.  Of course when it finally showed up the bitch was crowded and the car that I was in smelled like pee and oysters!

Don’t miscontrue this rant as a diss toward Chicago or the CTA. Really, what it all comes down to is the fact that I hate my fuckin job with a passion! Sorry, just had to get that off my chest…




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