Archive for October, 2009

iThug Approves: Hilary Duff

October 22, 2009

BREAKING NEWS: Hilary Duff could GET IT!

Daaaaaamn

Daaaaaamn

When did Hilary Duff become a full-fledged woman?? She was definitely not on iThug’s radar until I saw this pic. By Hollywood standards she’s probably considered obese but I can assure you that she would be all good in the hood. I’m making a new movie that she can star in, it’s called “Hilary Stuffed“.

Advertisements

Wack Halloween Costumes: Child Edition

October 22, 2009

W….T….F???

American Idol New Orleans Audition Costume

American Idol New Orleans Audition Costume

1. Why are there American Idol AUDITION costumes?!? You’re gonna spend money on a uncreative, inappropriate outfit costume to make your little goofy kid look like any old normal, untalented reality show contestant? Wow.

2. Why would they make this trash for kids?? You really wanna send your kid trick-or-treating in that? Wow.

3. Is this how people dress in New Orleans?  Is New Orleans overrun with skanky Gypsy punk singers? That’s what’s hot in the N.O. right now?

~sigh~

Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop

October 16, 2009
Halle Berry tears up the black carpet at the Keep A Child Alive Black Ball in New York

Halle Berry tears up the black carpet at the Keep A Child Alive Black Ball in New York

Halle Berry is probably the most consistently fine and sexy woman all of time.  I’m sure she has to mix in anti-hater repellent with her perfume to deflect all the jealousy that comes her way on a daily basis.  She probably has a hater proof stroller for her daughter as well. Normally iThug has a “Zero Tolerance for Children” policy when it comes to dating but I’ll CERTAINLY make an exception for Halle.

Source

Hot in the Streets?

October 13, 2009

Every once in a while I’m going to post the top search results that brought people to my blog. This information will decisively determine who or what is hot in the streets at this very moment. Today’s winner appears to be…

maino searchMaino? WTF? Apparently Maino is one of the major reasons why I’m getting hits these days.  Does that mean that I’m gonna stop hatin on him? Of course the hell not! Note that all of the search terms above apply to this dude. I’m really gonna need you people to get off his nuts breasts.

Is this fool smiling? That ain't gangsta! Real cats only show teeth when they're growling!

Is this fool smiling? That ain't gangsta! Real cats only show teeth when they're growling!

Okay, so he allegedly sold 1,000,000 digital copies of his new album and is now certified platinum.  So what?! He ain’t keepin it real! Real dudes don’t even make it on the charts. The realer you are, the worse your sales are. Peep this scientific chart to see what I mean:

realness chart

Art Imitating Life

October 12, 2009
obamajedi2

"Now you know I'm surgical with this bitch!"

I recently came across a couple pictures of President Obama “pretending” to be a Jedi while participating in a fencing demonstration, and I suddenly had a sense of deja vu…

obamajedi

Ha! Around the time when he was inaugurated someone started selling Obama action figures. The resemblance is uncanny isn’t it?  Same outfit and light saber! And I’m pretty sure he’s sparring with Dick Cheney in both of those pictures.

Originally spotted @ Gizmodo

Mugshot of the Day

October 12, 2009

beads

Name: M. Barrassing

Charge: Armed robbery with a firearm and attempted armed robbery with a firearm

I can’t believe this guy has the audacity to try to commit crimes with beads in his hair.  Why? Well, he certainly can’t sneak up on anyone. It probably sounds like you’re being ambushed by a pair of maracas. Then again they might come in handy when he’s running from the cops. If they fall out of his hair (see old Venus Williams tennis matches) the cops might slip on them, but he’ll still get caught eventually when they follow the trail of beads back to his hideout.

When will young black men realize that beads are not for them?! It’s nearly 2010 and this is still happening?? With all the homophobia in hip hop you would think that it wouldn’t be cool for thugs to want to bedazzle their hair but apparently this practice slipped through the cracks. Are some cats wearing scrunchies too? Is that what’s hot in the streets now?

These are the only two guys in history that can wear beads and get away with it:

rick-jamescaptain-jack-sparrow

Unless you’re the baddest muthaf*ckin, best-lookin sanger of all time (R.I.P) or an eccentric eye-liner wearing Caribbean pirate you need to stick to braids with black rubber bands or nothing at all. Yeah, I know Stevie Wonder had beads too but he obviously didn’t know any better. I’m just sayin…