Posts Tagged ‘Mugshot’

Mugshots

April 28, 2010

Is this a freeze frame from the intro of some random black sitcom in the 70s that this dude starred in? He looks like Isaac from the Love Boat mixed with Ike Turner. The next time I take a mug shot I’m gonna try to look extra GQ so I can use it as my Facebook profile picture.

It can’t get any better than that folks. Or can it??

Do they? Really?

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Mugshot of the Week

August 4, 2009

bottlecaps

Name:  Larry “Lobez” Lewinsky*

Charge:  Criminal Defacement of Public Property

Lobez was arrested for tagging various businesses in the suburbs with his graffiti pals and charged with 2 counts of Aggravated Douchery. Does this fool have a bottle cap in one ear and a poker chip in the other? Does he just stick different things in his earlobes depending on how he feels? Real Talk: one day he was rocking a shot glass in one ear and a tube of chapstick in the other. Someone’s clearly trying EXTRA hard to rebel against their parents.  I thought he looked scary until I came across this:

lauraobzera

Name:  Scary Poppins*

Charge: Aggravated Criminal Sexual Abuse (really??)

Apparently Ms. Poppins was an elementary school nurse that got caught allegedly having sexual relations with three teen boys in 2006.  She’s 50 and the boys that she messed with were between the ages of 13 and 17. I’m assuming that one of the boys’ parents “accidentally” read a text message that was sent by the naughty nurse that said something like  “Panties off…teeth out…time to take ur temperature. ” If I had a thing for vampire zombie lookin women I’d totally give her the business.

*Fake names were used to protect the innocent (me)

Mugshot of the Week

June 1, 2009

CatKiller

Name: El Pollo Loco

Charge: Cat Murderer (so gangsta!)

If Mattel comes out with a “Burn Victim Barbie Doll” I have a feeling that it will look eerily similar to this guy. There’s nothing more frightening than a man with four Rapunzel-like locs flowing from his scalp and mascara running down his face like a pornstar on the cover of Throat Gaggers 2. That better be a result of “insanely laughing so hard my eyes are watering” tears and not “I want my mommy uh oh I just shat on myself” tears.

Mugshot of the Week

May 18, 2009

So I’m starting this new thing where I’ll occasionally post and comment on some crazy mugshot that I come across on the internets. I’ll list the charge and a brief description but I won’t use their real names because I don’t want any of these fools Googling themselves from jail and coming after me after they make parole…

This week’s featured criminal:

mugshot

Don't act like I ain't that prettiest lookin muthaf*cka you ever seen in yo life!


Luscious “Silky” Archibald

Charge: Animal cruelty

Silky was charged after police found his dog stabbed to death in a bathtub on April 20, 2009.

Officers went to the home at about 4 a.m. after being called for a well-being check. They later found the body of the dog, a female pit bull, in the tub with multiple stab wounds, police said.

Officers found two bloody knives on a table, police said.


YIKES! This is what nightmares are made of folks. He looks like Rick James mixed with Tim Curry a.k.a IT

When he threatened to “kill a bitch” he was obviously serious. I can’t even hate tho…you gotta respect a dude that’s bald AND has a perm.