A 66-year old pet shop owner in England was fined $1,506 and ordered to wear an ankle bracelet because she was caught selling ___________ to a minor.
C.) Bootleg DVDs
If you guessed “Goldfish” you are correct! Yes, goldfish. Apparently it’s illegal to sell goldfish to children under the age of 16 per a law that was enacted back in medieval times, and by that I mean 2006. Additionally her son was fined $1,300 and ordered to serve 120 hours of community service.
How did the police find out about this dastardly duo, you ask? It was a sting operation! They sent a 14-year old boy in a pet shop to see if he could buy a fish and as soon he came out [the rest of this is a product of my imagination but probably very close to what actually happened] and gave a thumbs up a tear gas grenade flew through the window and a swat team charged in with rifles drawn yelling “Get on the bloody floor you sick son of a bitch! Drop the fish! DROP IT!!!”
On a serious note, what has the world come to? Old women are selling goldfish to kids now? They’re just kids! Aren’t there enough temptations in this world for them? They’re smoking, drinking, huffing, sexting and now scaling*?! We, as a community, need to do more to get these old people off our streets and out of our stores so they can stop corrupting the youth. Who’s with me?!
*Scaling: The act of smoking or snorting scales removed from a live goldfish to produce hallucinogenic effects. Also referred to as “Finding Nemo”