Posts Tagged ‘coonery’

Even Obama Isn’t Safe from Kanye

September 15, 2009
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The Tom Foolery Excellence in Coonery Award

September 15, 2009

The Tom Foolery Excellence in Coonery Award  will be presented to the most embarrassing negro of the year.

Here are the nominees so far:

Kanye West

Only a Master of Advanced Elite Coonery could pull off Kanye’s antics.  You protest an award for which you weren’t even nominated? Wow. You’re on the red carpet with a bottle of Henny??  :dead:

kanyehenny4

Kanye’s Barber

I’m gonna need you barbers in Chicago to stop cutting labyrinths and Rorshach inkblot patterns into Kanye’s head.

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Lil Mama

(Also nominated for the “Sit Yo Ass Down!” Lifetime Achievement Award)

Coonin’ is obviously contagious as she had the audacity to get on the stage at the VMA awards, uninvited, and ruin Droopy and Alicia Keys performance.
Why won’t she go away??

lilmamawtf1

Serena Williams

The face says it all…

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Clip of the Day

May 20, 2009

Epic Treadmill Fall (VIDEO!!) + Keyboard Cat = Masterpiece

Bonus Fail:

The Price of Coonery

May 18, 2009

Feeling down? This picture will certainly lift your spirits:

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Kentucky Grilled Chicken?

April 14, 2009

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Kentucky Fried Chicken announced that its restaurants will begin serving  GRILLED CHICKEN in addition to the original fried chicken recipe in an effort to increase profit margins and demonstrate its commitment to providing healthier choices to attract more customers.

Expect to be bombarded by a national multimedia advertising blitz within the next several minutes as KFC tries to spread the word. To get the ball rolling KFC has declared April 27, 2009 as “UNFry Day” in which participating restaurants will give out a free piece of grilled chicken to customers. Be sure to Google Map all of the KFC’s within a 20 mile radius so you and the kids can eat a meal’s worth of free samples for dinner that day.

By the way, if you didn’t click the link in the paragraph above I STRONGLY advise you to go to their website right now (http://www.unthinkfc.com/). I suppose I should also warn you to prepare yourself for the amount of coonery that you’ll be exposed to on the left side of the screen.  How can any self respecting black people allow themselves to be recorded while proudly jiggabooing around a room eating chicken?! A WHITE room nonetheless. Obama moved us forward and now we’re going right back to square one! Dancing for chicken?!? If I buy a combo will it come with watermelon and black face paint too??

Stop smiling and show some damn dignity fool!

Stop smiling and show some damn dignity fool!

Will this work out for KFC or will it fail like everything else that they’ve tried with the exception of those delicious, crack-infused Honey BBQ Wings? A good way to measure its success is to see if  someone gets robbed over a bucket of chicken. If people start getting jacked for a grilled 10-piece, KFC definitely has a winner on its hands.

Source

It ain’t hot yet! Sit down!

April 9, 2009
SUMMER TIME!!!!

SUMMER TIME!!!!

Everybody knows that the crime rate rises significantly as soon as the weather warms up. A flood of ignorance fills the streets as little punk ass unsupervised kids wreak havoc and irritate me with their mere existence. A surge of violence incited by arguments over Lil Wayne and some girl’s ass will once again threaten to destroy the black community leaving nothing but fake hair, chicken bones and tons of unread books in its wake. Unfortunately this inevitably happens every year and there’s nothing that you can do but sit back and wait for the sounds of gunshots to remix the ice cream truck jingle.

Yesterday, as I was returning home from my girl’s crib, I noticed that there were waaaaay too many hoodlum ass kids running around my block. They were outside yellin at nobody and everybody, loitering in front of doorways to buildings where none of them live, fighting and just plain gettin on my damn nerves. I heard ambulances and police cars going back and forth like they were doing suicide drills in basketball practice, and I’m pretty sure the sky turned a reddish-green. Isn’t it too early for this?? It was only 50 degrees! I’m not ready yet! I’m definitely NOT looking forward to another summer in my neighborhood. 2009 has already gotten off to a terrible start with all of the mass murders, job losses and crazy weather.

If it were up to me I’d send anyone between the ages of 10 – 22 to special camps out in the country. I’d put them to work to make them productive members of society for once. I might even conduct harmless experiments for scientific research. It’s apparent that these kids are too hyped up and fat these days. My camps would help them lose weight and learn to concentrate. Hmmm, Concentrating Encampments. That has a nice ring to it…