Posts Tagged ‘boobs’

Hilary Swank Could GET IT!

March 10, 2010

Yeah, that’s right, apparently Ms. Million Dollar Baby/Boys Don’t Cry got a body on her. Word, son? Yeah, WORD! I already told you that the other Hilary could get it but it looks like she got some stiff competition from my penis Ms. Swank. Of course she still looks like Billy Bob Thornton with Gary Busey’s teeth but from the neck down she’s like BOOM BOOM POW!!

Spotted @ Hollywood Tuna

My Favorite Things: Mariah Carey’s Funbags

February 15, 2010

On the reals I’m an ass man to the core, but I will NEVER forsake the greatness that is…Boobies. Take Mariah Carey, for example. She has no ass, she’s drunk, kinda crazy and she got a little plump after getting married (not to say that there’s anything wrong with that), but those breastsess are always immaculate aren’t they? Peep this picture of her performing at the Chicago Theater last weekend:

I don’t know why but it seems like Mariah’s boobs are out more often than the lights in project stairways (Marcy, Cabrini Green, Magnolia…pick one). Of course iThug isn’t one to complain.

Random: I just thought of a great pornstar name — Mariah Careolas! Clever, huh?!

With that in mind I’d like to send out some venom-laced HATE to that sucka ass punk, Nick Cannon. I bet he’s motorboating those sweater cows as we speak. Grrrrr!

Photos Spotted @ Chicago Tribune

A Flash for a Flash

May 7, 2009

im-in-ur-windoze-flashing-ur-nayberz

Disneyland has decided to stop hiring workers to watch for girls flashing their breasts on rides such as Space Mountain, Splash Mountain and Tower of Terror. Say what?! Every once in a while some adventurous/drunk woman will try to flash her sweater puppies right at the moment when they take those “Gotcha! Photos“, as John McCain would call them. You know what I’m talking about, right? They have the camera set up somewhere in the middle of the ride that’ll take a picture of you when you least expect it so you can look extra stupid or hilariously frightened:

scary-rollercoaster-ride

I’m just mad, and by that I mean jealous, that people were actually getting paid SOLELY to look for exposed breasts! If I got paid for looking at fun bags I would’ve been a millionaire a decade ago!

After doing this for 10 years Disneyland made the decision to reassign the “Flash Inspectors” (I hope that’s the actual job title) to other jobs because “actual inappropriate behaviors by guests are rare.” I guess it would be kinda boring if you rarely saw anything. I wonder if Tinkerbell is an exhibitionist? Word on the street is that she did a porno that never got released called Sphincterbell: Anal Princess.True story. I read it in a textbook.

Source

Hooray for Stem Cells

March 30, 2009

Like most heterosexual males I’m a big fan of boobs/breasts/fun bags/sweater puppies,  but when it comes to implants I usually have to draw the line. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind them so much when they’re subtle and not so hard that you’ll break your nose if you try to motorboat em, but some women get carried away…

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