Mugshot of the Week

bottlecaps

Name:  Larry “Lobez” Lewinsky*

Charge:  Criminal Defacement of Public Property

Lobez was arrested for tagging various businesses in the suburbs with his graffiti pals and charged with 2 counts of Aggravated Douchery. Does this fool have a bottle cap in one ear and a poker chip in the other? Does he just stick different things in his earlobes depending on how he feels? Real Talk: one day he was rocking a shot glass in one ear and a tube of chapstick in the other. Someone’s clearly trying EXTRA hard to rebel against their parents.  I thought he looked scary until I came across this:

lauraobzera

Name:  Scary Poppins*

Charge: Aggravated Criminal Sexual Abuse (really??)

Apparently Ms. Poppins was an elementary school nurse that got caught allegedly having sexual relations with three teen boys in 2006.  She’s 50 and the boys that she messed with were between the ages of 13 and 17. I’m assuming that one of the boys’ parents “accidentally” read a text message that was sent by the naughty nurse that said something like  “Panties off…teeth out…time to take ur temperature. ” If I had a thing for vampire zombie lookin women I’d totally give her the business.

*Fake names were used to protect the innocent (me)

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