Reason #89045 Why I Hate My Job

Today is June 2nd, right? Why the hell is it 49 degrees outside and raining?! The average high for June is 79 degrees! I’ll tell you why the weather is so stupid…it’s because my job sucks! That’s why! You know how much harder it is to wake up and drag yourself to a wack ass job when it’s cold and raining outside?? You probably do…but this ain’t about you!

I’m gonna have to start doing some illegal street racing or making women pay me for sex. Both of these options seem quite lucrative and realistic. But seriously, how the hell does my job keep getting worse? It’s like a diaper that hasn’t been changed on a baby for weeks. It keeps getting shittier and shittier! Previously we used to get a paltry 3% raise after an annual compensation review but just recently it was secretly dropped to 1%! What the hell is that?! That’s like $10 extra dollars a check! I can’t eat off that son! I can’t buy a Choppa Suit with that! I can’t make it rain in the club! That’s barely enough for a light mist!

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