True Story: Urban Squirrel Edition

chicken bone1

This is not the actual hood squirrel that I encountered

You know you live in the hood when you see a squirrel running up a tree with a chicken bone and you don’t live anywhere near picnic grounds. I dare you to walk through the hood and not find at least 27 chicken wing bones, 10 empty bags of chips and 7 multicolored nickel bags on any given block.  Unfortunately I wasn’t able to take a picture with my slow camera phone because city squirrels have the ability to move like a young Jackie Chan with crackhead speed.

The squirrel turned around and stared me down from halfway up the tree and looked as if to say “Um, unless you got some cole slaw to go with this chicken you might wanna keep it movin, patnah.” I flipped that little sonuvabitch the bird while running away from it backwards (NEVER turn your back on a squirrel!) and told him that his mama’s a one-legged alcoholic and they call her “Hop-Scotch”.

True story.

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