Archive for April 13th, 2009

Wack Album Cover: Dipset Edition

April 13, 2009

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Hell Rell, the second coming of Craig Mack and the hardest rapper in Dipset, has an impressive record when it comes to TERRIBLE mixtape covers. The cover for his newest masterpiece, Ruga Rell: Return to the Grind, looks like it can also double as the poster for an awful, low-budget, VHS-only, urban sci-fi movie that no sober person will ever rent from a  video store.  How many permanent markers do you have to sniff to think that it would be a good idea to turn yourself into a cyborg thug standing in front of a laser-emitting fireball? Watching too many episodes of The Sarah Connor Chronicles are we?

Here’s the plot for the movie:

Reliford “Ruga” Lawson was the biggest drug kingpin in New York until he was gunned down by a rival crew. Ruga should have died that night but he was rescued by a homeless man who rebuilt him using common household items from a dumpster. Now with the ability to cook crack faster than ever and hustle 24/7 without ever needing to sleep, Ruga seeks revenge on his killers as he attempts to reign supreme in the streets once again.

Megan Good also stars as Tina, a former child actor who copes with a severe bout of alcoholism and drug addiction after realizing that she is doomed to experience a lifetime of mediocrity as an actress and a terrible R&B singer

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Gay Fish

April 13, 2009

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The creators of South Park actually released the FULL version of Kanye West’s “Gay Fish” song for everyone to download!

Click the link below to stream/download the song!

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The White House Has A New Puppy!!!

April 13, 2009

HOORAY FOR NOT GIVING A DAMN!

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So the Obamas finally picked a dog and it’s a Puerto Rican Water Treader or whatever the hell it’s called. Hooray! I can finally breathe a sigh of relief. I didn’t know how much longer I could go on without knowing which type of dog they were going to pick.  Of course there’s controversy surrounding the dog because President Obama can’t wipe his ass without a complaint these days (“Why you gotta use quilted toilet paper? Oh, because you’re a Socialist!”)  Some people are angry because the dog didn’t come from a shelter. However it didn’t come from a nasty puppy mill or a pet store either sooo have a sip of STFU or lay on a train track for a while. Other people are mad because the breed might become too popular now. SERIOUSLY?!?

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Polar Bears = 2 | White People = 0

April 13, 2009

Remember how I posted that article a while ago about the guy in Alaska that was attacked by a polar bear after it chased him around his truck like a bitch? Well I just heard about another incident invovling white people and polar bears and honestly, I’m not the least bit surprised.

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Christmas came early for the polar bears this year.

A 32-year old woman was at the Berlin Zoo with her family when she decided to hop over a fence, a prickly bush and another barrier to break into the polar bear enclosure. She then decides to swim over to one of the polar bears, probably assuming that it would smile and give her a Coke. It’s apparent that this lady is crazy or smoking some amazing weed because she definitely had a smile on her face while swimming toward a potentially gruesome, yet hilarious to watch, death:

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Needless to say, when the polar bears spotted this delusional woman, they were initially confused, but quickly remembered that the craziest ones are always the tastiest ones.

Polar Bear: Mmmm, I'm about to cut some bacon off your back!

Polar Bear: Mmmm, I'm about to cut some bacon off ya back! Let me hear ya squeal!!

After being bitten like a Notorious BIG line in a Jay Z song the foolish woman eventually realized that these bears weren’t playing around. Oh, did I mention that she decided to jump in their habitat during FEEDING TIME? Fortunately there’s a video of the rescue. Unfortunately there’s a video of the rescue and not the mauling that rightfully should have occurred.

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