Letter to Ms. Winfrey


Dear Oprah,

I wanna be on you.

I know that I’ll never get a ticket to your “Favorite Things” show where you give out free gifts to audience members, but if I ever made it there’s only one thing that I’d hope to find under my seat–you.

One day while I was sippin a 40 oz of premium malt liquor I was inspired to write this haiku for you:

cotton candy sweet
as gold let me see that Toot-
sie roll, Tootsie roll!

Deepest regards,


p.s. I’m watchin you!



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