You might be a hoodrat if…

I saw a teenage girl on the bus the other day that displayed all of the symptoms of being a hoodrat and it impressed me so much that I was compelled to create this post. Thank you, hoodrat on the bus, for inspiring me with your guilt-free tackiness.


  1. You ALWAYS have a damn comb in your back pocket.
  2. You NEVER have a backpack when you go to school.
  3. Your nails are painted with colors that induce seizures AND you have the audacity to add 3D objects to them!
  4. Your blue/maroon/gold hair weave matches your sneakers, Baby Phat t-shirt, iPod, and the comb in your back pocket.
  5. You talk on your phone louder than you would to a person sitting next to you while you’re riding the bus. You allow everybody to hear about how yo mama used up all of your JAM! hair gel and exceeded the text message allowance on your shared cell phone plan. Yet you’re always quick to yell “Why you all up in my business?!” when people tell you to shut the hell up or go kill yourself.
  6. You admit that you enjoy doing “hoodrat stuff”
  7. You stood outside of the courthouse for hours and cheered for R. Kelly when the charges were dropped.
  8. Both you and your mother are unable to get into the club when it’s 25 and Older night
  9. You think every Pretty Ricky song is worthy of becoming a ringtone
  10. You pretend to play “America’s Next Top Model” with your 5 year old daughter to trick her into taking pictures of you in nasty positions for your MySpace page.


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