Steve Jobs gets skinnier; pockets get fatter

So there have been rumors floating around the webs about the declining health of Steve Jobs, the CEO of Apple (not affiliated with iThug.) As soon as one of these rumors falls on the ears of stockholders Apple’s shares fall harder than a paraplegic attempting a cartwheel.

Jobs, who normally keeps to himself so people won’t be all up in his bidniz,  released a statement saying that his shocking weight loss is merely a consequence of a  harmless “hormone imbalance”. Yeah, okay…even his tight turtleneck sweaters are baggy now. He can stick his head through the sleeve and it still wouldn’t be snug.

Here’s the direct quote from Jobs:

“Listen, it’s just a hormone imbalance. Get off my iNuts. My hair is grayer and my money is greener. Quit hatin’ and get some paper.  Now excuse me but I think your mom is texting me on my iPhone. Just kiddin, I got a Blackberry Storm. That blows your mind doesn’t it? Stop snitchin!”

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2 Responses to “Steve Jobs gets skinnier; pockets get fatter”

  1. Apple Lover Says:

    Oh okay……you just HAD to point out that iThug is not affiliated with iThug? Mac hater….

  2. Apple Lover Says:

    oh sorry….I mean Apple.

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