No Tears for OJ, But There’s Plenty of Prison Time

GUILTY!

LOL @ his boo boo face. Ex-Gov Spitzer had the same face when he got busted for paying for escorts

LAS VEGAS — O.J. Simpson was sentenced Friday to a minimum of 15 years in prison for the gunpoint robbery and kidnapping of two sports memorabilia dealers.

Simpson, 61, will not be eligible for parole for five years.

A jury on Oct. 3 convicted Simpson and Clarence “C.J” Stewart of a multitude of charges against them in the Sept. 13, 2007, confrontation with the dealers at a Las Vegas casino hotel room.

Source

Oh, Orenthal. How dooo you do it? How do you manage to hang yourself TWICE? Unfortunately, it doesn’t appear that you’ll be able to break free of the noose this time–a la Ving Rhames in Rosewood.

Most people would chill after allegedly getting away with murder in one of the most high profile, highly resented trials of the century but nooo, not Juice! I’m pretty sure that everybody knew, except OJ, that he was going to jail as soon as the charges were brought up. And you knew it was definitely a wrap when all of his cohorts snitched on him quicker than a sibling threatened with dad’s thick belt.

During his murder trial the country was divided between two groups:

Group A: Knew that OJ was guilty and was mad as hell that he didn’t get the death penalty or at least jail time.

Group B: Knew that OJ was guilty but continued to falsely proclaim his innocence just because they were happy to see an unlikely figure beat the odds for once. Perhaps they were still mad about the Dred Scott case.

After this trial Groups A and B are pretty much in the same boat:

Group A: [Jim Jones – Pop Champagne plays in background] “LMAO! Finally! REDEMPTION!!!”

Group B: I can’t front, that fool did it. But R.Kelly is innocent! I didn’t see a mole, did you?! The Pied Piper of R&B is INNOCENT! We love you Arra! [R Kelly – Feelin On Yo Booty plays in background]

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