It’s So Cold In the ‘D’, Indeed

So I went on a business trip to Detroit today because I’m kind of a big deal. After overwhelming the client with unrelenting illmaticness me and my co-worker went to the TGIFriday’s in the airport to grab something to eat. To make a long story short a Nun basically challenged me to a knife fight….blah blah, same old stuff. So I unrolled my napkin to grab my blade and to my surprise the only thing that came out was a fork. WTF?! I’m assuming that they don’t give out knives for “security reasons” but surely they misunderestimate my combat skills if they think that’s gonna stop iThug!

Nevertheless when my meal came I noticed that there was a knife on the plate. For a second I thought I may have caught them slippin. However I picked up the bastard only to find out that TGIFriday was trying to punk me!

Can you spot the trickery?

Faux Knife

THE KNIFE WAS PLASTIC! Shiny like metal, but plastic! Did they really think that would stop me from causing damage?! Do they know that when I was in jail I made a shank out of hair follicles and ginger ale bubbles?! You can’t stop iThug from stabbin people son!

On a side note: I was in downtown Detroit at 9am and only saw like 15 people–all of whom were black and clearly unemployed. Unfortunately I wasn’t lucky enough to spot T-Baby because I certainly would’ve asked her to autograph my stomach. But seriously, how can you be downtown in a major city and not see one white person?? I know times are rough but damn! Perhaps things would be different if there was a Red Wings game in town…

There They Are


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